PRACTICAL RESILIENCE

Skills for Thriving in Modern Life

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November 29, 2017

We have a cultural tendency to stuff our negative emotions. We apologize for our anger. We talk ourselves out of our disappointment. We have come to believe that positivity is a sign of strength and character, and negativity is a sign of weakness.

While this blog is founded in positive psychology and many of the skills I teach are about finding th...

November 27, 2017

We have a cultural tendency to stuff our negative emotions. We apologize for our anger. We talk ourselves out of our disappointment. We have come to believe that positivity is a sign of strength and character, and negativity is a sign of weakness.

While this blog is founded in positive psychology and many of the skills I teach are about finding th...

November 23, 2017

It’s easy to be thankful today, and every day, for our blessings: loving family, supportive friends, delicious meals, great jobs.

But, think about all the blessings that arise from what you don’t have.

Recently, I watched a video of some third graders who made a classroom presentation about being thankful … for what they don’t have. Today, I want t...

November 20, 2017

What do I need to feel better?

When it comes to building resilience, the most important habit you can develop is asking yourself this question when you notice you are feeling upset about something. It puts you in the driver’s seat and prevents you from slipping into victim-mode. This question also illuminates a key resiliency skill: identifying un...

November 18, 2017

The seconds and minutes of our life add up. One negative encounter can leave you primed for another negative encounter, and pretty soon, you can feel yourself getting snappy and annoyed. This, of course, makes it more likely that the next encounter will feel lousy too. Minutes can turn into hours, which can turn into days of feeling lousy.

The rev...

November 14, 2017

One of the greatest concepts of resiliency is this: It’s never the situation that causes you to suffer. It’s always your thoughts about the situation that cause you to suffer.

For example, if you lose your job, you will likely think your anxiety is caused by the job loss itself, but the true cause of your suffering is the thought-track running thr...

November 13, 2017

From the time we are children, most of us are taught not to trust our “human radar system.” As kids, we are told to be polite and respectful to adults, no matter what. Babysitters, some of whom are complete strangers, arrive to care for us, and when we object, we are scolded by our parents. When we are forced to endure coaches, teachers, and othe...

November 10, 2017

Without a conscious effort otherwise, a crisis like a divorce, loss of a job, or an illness can take over your thoughts and spill into your conversations, relationships, and activities—oftentimes to the point that not a moment in your day is free of your crisis. This can happen at a time when, more than anything, you need to find ways to recharge...

November 9, 2017

Honor your time and your life with activities that make you feel good.

This sounds simple, but most of us are so focused on our day-to-day to-do lists that we never take an internal inventory of how activities actually make us feel.

For example, you might think you watch television to relax. However, if you pay attention to your emotions as you wat...

November 9, 2017

Our days are what we have. Stacked together, they are our life. They should be a reflection of what we value.

If we could look at a person’s schedule, we would know if they are honoring what they say they value, or if they are simply going through the motions, putting out fires, or marking things off a to-do list.

Often, we allow too much time for...

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Why Feeling "Bad" Is Actually... Good

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