Conflict Resolution

That Builds Resilience

About The MacDermott Method

If you're reading this, it is time...

Time to stop repeating the same behaviors that have you stuck in a relationship marred by escalating conflict.

 

Are you hoping for something to magically change? You know that doesn’t happen. You know that is the definition of insanity.

 

I get it. You are at an impasse. You know this situation is not sustainable but you are locked in a dance with an irrational person who does not understand how you feel and doesn’t seem to want to try.

 

It’s frustrating. Infuriating, actually. And sad. And if you’re really honest with yourself, probably scary, too.

 

There’s so much at stake...

 

You’re exhausted from being so tense all the time. The stress is taking a toll on your body. All of your other relationships are suffering as well—in your personal and professional life. In fact, you feel utterly alone in this. No one really understands what you’re going through.

 

It is time. Time to move forward. Time to lean in and use this as a springboard for something better.

Whether your conflict is in a professional or personal relationship,

you’ve come to the right place.

 

I know it might seem like there’s no solution that does not involve you losing in some way, but trust me. We can do this.

 

I’ve helped partners who had devolved into mortal enemies find a way to get both sets of needs met and emerge from the conflict... feeling battle-worn but still optimistic about the future.

 

How is this possible?

 

Because conflict is always about unmet needs.

 

And though it can sometimes feel like the other person has to cooperate for you to get your needs met, that is rarely the case (unless you are being held against your will). A deeper look at your needs, values, desires and beliefs will always reveal a way for YOU to get your needs met. If you are willing to do the work and get honest with yourself about what you want and why you want it, the path will become clear.

 

There is never a situation in which another person can hold your ability to choose happiness hostage. One need only read Viktor Frankl’s seminal book Man’s Search for Meaning for proof of this. In the book, Frankl describes how he and other prisoners in a Nazi concentration camp—who were getting virtually none of their needs met—ultimately had a choice about whether or not the ruthless guards could take away their dignity and their hope. This staggering demonstration of resilience reveals the power of a person’s mindset.

 

Mindset is a critical component of conflict, as well.

 

Resilience is the key... 

 

... to turning intolerable situations into opportunities for personal growth.

 

My unique model of conflict resolution allows you not only to resolve your issue but to gain self-awareness and a set of skills that will serve you for the rest of your life in the process.

Imagine how it will feel...

 

... not just being free of this negativity, but more importantly, to have created a new chapter in your life that aligns with your values...

 

... one in which you get your needs met, feel taken care of, are surrounded by healthy, supportive relationships, and feel engaged, inspired, and empowered to create whatever you desire for yourself!

This is the power of resilient conflict resolution.

Want to learn more?

I love to talk about it. Give me a call.

310-750-9993

About Me

How Did I Come to Love Resilience Training and Conflict Resolution?

After nearly two decades of studying and teaching resilience, I have seen time and again that there are blessings in the tough times, if we are willing to look for them. I have seen how adversity, conflict, and dark nights of the soul can bring out the worst in us, but also how they can ignite the very best. Ideally, they can serve as catalysts of human transformation, which is a wonder to behold. Helping people achieve this has become my passion.

 

We all feel most connected when we are vulnerable and authentic, and this makes my work feel particularly meaningful. I am honored that people trust me to be in the trenches with them as they do the difficult work of reconnecting to hope and to each other. It feels good to help people when the stakes are high. When they are digging deep and making decisions with serious consequences.

 

Nothing gives me greater satisfaction than bearing witness to aha moments that offer a new perspective and a new path forward. I am constantly amazed by the resilience and creativity of the human spirit and also by our capacity for forgiveness and love.

 

Most people avoid conflict,

but I can help you turn it into an opportunity

for something better.

How Did I Get to Be a Skills-Based Therapist in the First Place?

Growing up in the South in the 80s, I did not have any context or role models for therapy. No one I knew even went to therapy much less was a therapist. Luckily, I had a happy childhood, so I didn't need therapy.

 

My colleagues in graduate school refused to believe I actually had a happy childhood. They were certain I was kidding myself and living in denial. They were wrong. I never hated my mom. My mom is, in fact, a fantastic mother. But I digress...

It wasn't until I found myself in a rough patch in my marriage that I got curious about therapy. It was clear to me that my husband and I did not have the tools we needed to negotiate the difficult terrain of me desperately wanting a child and him not wanting to be pressured. We were stuck in a cycle of miscommunication and misunderstanding, and it was not sustainable.

Couples counseling was life-changing for us. Michael liked it as much as I did. We had needed to learn some rules of engagement, some ways of speaking to each other that allowed us to be heard—even when we vehemently disagreed.

This was the beginning of my interest in skills-training. Talking it out is great, but sometimes people need to learn tangible skills.

Nearly two decades later, skills-training is still the underpinning of how I work. As I help people solve the conflict that has brought them to me, I teach them skills to be able to resolve it on their own the next time.

That might not be the best business model for a therapist, but it feels good to me. So, that's how I do it.

Some Other Things You Might Like to Know About Me

Non-profit organizations I started...

Based in Aspen, Colorado, Pathfinders provides counseling and volunteer services to people touched by cancer, grief and other life-changing challenges.

Zero Hour Expeditions in Boise, Idaho takes veterans on 30-day wilderness adventures to help heal their minds, bodies and spirits.

My education and licenses...

I graduated from Duke University with a B.A. in 1990 and got my master's degree in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University in 2002.

I am licensed in California as a Marriage and Family Therapist (lic. #: LMFT102440) and in Colorado as a Professional Counselor (lic. #: LPC0004736).

Some additional training...

I have completed training in mind-body medicine from the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind-Body Medicine in Boston, MA in 2008 and advanced training from the Center for Mind-Body Medicine in Washington, D.C. in 2006​.

My Family

I've been married for 27 years and have three kids: one in college and two in high school. We also have a giant three-year-old Akita who goes running with me every morning.

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© 2018 Kristin MacDermott

 
 
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