Skills for Thriving in Modern Life

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"When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."

Maya Angelou

One of the most disempowering positions we can put ourselves in is needing someone else to change in order to be happy. It is so easy to think that if our spouse or sibling or boss would just be nicer or less demanding or more thoughtful we could be happier in the rela...

What you focus on determines how you feel. This applies whether you are focusing on an external thing or on an internal thought. It is easy to feel good when you are focused on something external like a great song, a funny video, a person you love, or beautiful aspect of nature. Often, however, the thoughts we are think are the most powerful dete...

Our emotions are always expressed in our bodies. Your pulse might race in response to anxiety. Your throat might tighten in response to sadness. Your head might throb in response to anger.

We all feel our emotions in our bodies, even when we do not register the thoughts behind them. Our bodies give us warning and welcoming signs all of the time, l...

When most people think of resilience, they envision things like persevering against all odds, overcoming terrible hardship, and screwing your courage to the sticking place in the face of something awful. While it sounds like it would be beneficial to be strong and resilient, most people would rather… just be happy.

After all, if being resilient ne...

You might think hobbies and rituals are frivolous. Who has time to paint or take a yoga class or sip a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise when there are kids and careers and bills to pay?

However, I believe the hobbies and rituals that you love feed your soul. They should be protected. Often, our hobbies and small, daily rituals like journaling...

The stories you tell about yourself determine your future. They also influence how other people feel about you. You get to choose how to talk about yourself, particularly your setbacks, disappointments and failures. Use those conversations as opportunities to solidify what you learned and clarify what you want for yourself going forward.

When people hear the word “surrender,” they often think of giving up. They think surrendering means they have to walk away from whatever it is they want. This definition of “surrender” feels lousy. Why would you—and why should you—give up on your desires?

I don’t think you should.

However, I do believe there are times when you have done everything...

February 28, 2018

As parents, we have multiple opportunities every day to steer our kids towards empowerment and resilience. One simple thing you can add to your repertoire of parenting tricks is this:

Avoid asking “What’s wrong?” when you notice that your kids are upset.

Instead, teach them the basics of emotional intelligence and resilience by following this three...

February 27, 2018

Popular notion is that we should be selfless. Service and sacrifice are praised as the highest ideals, while putting our own needs ahead of others is considered shameful. The word selfish is never meant as anything other than an insult.
Yet, we cannot give others the best we have to offer if our own needs are not being met....

February 17, 2018

Here is something you might not have considered: Most conflict arises because one or both parties are not getting their needs met.

Understanding this makes conflict resolution infinitely easier.

Here’s a quick example: Let’s imagine that a husband and wife always argue because the husband wants “me time” and the wife feels hurt that her husband doe...

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Why Feeling "Bad" Is Actually... Good

November 29, 2017

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February 27, 2018

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